Jun 29, 2011
Jun 23, 2011
Jun 16, 2011
Jun 15, 2011
Impossible Final Exams
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.
Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.
Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)
Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.
Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.
Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.
Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.
Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.
General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.
Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.
Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisiacs, Ramses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.
Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.
Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.
Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.
Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)
Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.
Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.
Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.
Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.
Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.
General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.
Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.
Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisiacs, Ramses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.
Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.
Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples
Jun 14, 2011
New Work Policy
NEW OFFICE POLICY EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2012
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Jun 9, 2011
Jun 6, 2011
Passwords, Hacks, Spams and Online Security
A while back, I sent a couple of emails on "Securing your Passwords", "Phishing - Quick Facts" and "How to Avoid Phishing Scams" and I am not sure how "seriously" you guys took it... as it has been a while getting spam emails from a friend after another..And I am sure this has been very taunting to many who fell under such attacks...
I know it may be a long read (for some), but I assure you, you need to know this info... if not for your sake... for the sake of people in your contact list: respecting their privacy is only human!
Besides... I made the effort to ensure raising your awareness, so read it or I will kick your butt :P
Remember:
- Social Networks are also prawn to attacks and the most catchy hacks that will ensure you will click them would probably contain very tempting titles or description, something like:
[using the name Mickey/Mini Mouse as a sample since it can be the name of a celebrity, a politician, sportsperson, actor, singer, TV presenter, etc]
Mini flashing on national TV, sex and Mickey, sexy Mickey for the first time, never seen before Mickey video, Mickey making out with Mini, etc etc (I guess you get the idea, so now you can stop laughing at Mickey and Mini :P)
- If something is fishy, never click. Even if it's from your best friend or a technology geek...as everybody can be a victim
- Before clicking links -I would say every link, but you can go for suspicious links if you don't want to have an OCD- check where it will take you to: each internet browser will display on the bottom left corner the destination whenever you hover (roll over) a link [links can be text, images, videos, buttons, etc]
Just make sure the destination is a reliable link (something you are familiar with or you are positive it's authentic) - if you are in doubt, spare it, your life won't end if you miss seeing Mini topless! :P
- If you happen to click a link that did something such as logged you out from your email or social network or etc, make sure to immediately change your password and secret question.
- MSN messenger is known to have so many ways to make hacking easier... such as installing extra emotions or messenger plus or what have you... I know "they are so cute" and you want to brag about your "fancy emotions" but you are willingly inviting hackers to get access to your info and your contact list. If you happen to care the least about that as it is just a "chatting tool", you may need to consider the privacy of your friends in your contact list as I am sure, nobody wants to be hammered receiving spam emails from you! I know I don't!
What do you need to do
- Change your passwords every 30-90 days
- Make sure your passwords are at least 8 characters long and contain a combination of numbers, letters, characters, lowercase and uppercase such as: MY+pass#123[WORD]987# - or something similar
- Don't use public computers
- Don't leave your computer unlocked when unattended
- Don't use the same password for your email(s), social networking, etc - not even the same password twice!
Check the below information, be aware and make the necessary changes!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Password_strength
http://www.microsoft.com/security/online-privacy/passwords-create.aspx
http://www.microsoft.com/business/en-us/resources/technology/security/5-tips-for-top-notch-password-security.aspx
Most of and above all... Stay Safe!
I know it may be a long read (for some), but I assure you, you need to know this info... if not for your sake... for the sake of people in your contact list: respecting their privacy is only human!
Besides... I made the effort to ensure raising your awareness, so read it or I will kick your butt :P
Remember:
- Social Networks are also prawn to attacks and the most catchy hacks that will ensure you will click them would probably contain very tempting titles or description, something like:
[using the name Mickey/Mini Mouse as a sample since it can be the name of a celebrity, a politician, sportsperson, actor, singer, TV presenter, etc]
Mini flashing on national TV, sex and Mickey, sexy Mickey for the first time, never seen before Mickey video, Mickey making out with Mini, etc etc (I guess you get the idea, so now you can stop laughing at Mickey and Mini :P)
- If something is fishy, never click. Even if it's from your best friend or a technology geek...as everybody can be a victim
- Before clicking links -I would say every link, but you can go for suspicious links if you don't want to have an OCD- check where it will take you to: each internet browser will display on the bottom left corner the destination whenever you hover (roll over) a link [links can be text, images, videos, buttons, etc]
Just make sure the destination is a reliable link (something you are familiar with or you are positive it's authentic) - if you are in doubt, spare it, your life won't end if you miss seeing Mini topless! :P
- If you happen to click a link that did something such as logged you out from your email or social network or etc, make sure to immediately change your password and secret question.
- MSN messenger is known to have so many ways to make hacking easier... such as installing extra emotions or messenger plus or what have you... I know "they are so cute" and you want to brag about your "fancy emotions" but you are willingly inviting hackers to get access to your info and your contact list. If you happen to care the least about that as it is just a "chatting tool", you may need to consider the privacy of your friends in your contact list as I am sure, nobody wants to be hammered receiving spam emails from you! I know I don't!
What do you need to do
- Change your passwords every 30-90 days
- Make sure your passwords are at least 8 characters long and contain a combination of numbers, letters, characters, lowercase and uppercase such as: MY+pass#123[WORD]987# - or something similar
- Don't use public computers
- Don't leave your computer unlocked when unattended
- Don't use the same password for your email(s), social networking, etc - not even the same password twice!
Check the below information, be aware and make the necessary changes!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Password_strength
http://www.microsoft.com/security/online-privacy/passwords-create.aspx
http://www.microsoft.com/business/en-us/resources/technology/security/5-tips-for-top-notch-password-security.aspx
Most of and above all... Stay Safe!
Jun 4, 2011
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